Three In One

It has taken a couple weeks but I have three short videos mixed into one in hopes that that makes up for the time that has elapsed. You can watch the video(s)! HERE! The past couple of weeks have been hard on me yet again because I am really trying hard to focus on all of the new tools that I’ve made for myself including eating healthy stretching every morning and being more assertive and taking charge of my life which includes in a way being less of a yes man to friends and family and doctors and basically anytime I have said yes before and not actually meant it I am now saying “NO” which is a swear word to me :/ (meaning I just am afraid to say it) growing up I was always trying to fix things and putting what I actually wanted or needed on the back burner and because of that now I am 31 and I am just now learning how to take charge of my life. But it’s been hard to see people pull away from me and I feel it might just be because it’s a new thing for them to hear me say no to them or maybe it’s just they really think I’m a “” different person now which I guess in both scenarios that’s true I am saying no to them now when I haven’t and I guess that makes me different person. I just need to remind myself that this is The only way that I will be able to get the things that I need for...

Into the Deep End!

I have spoken about before that I have been unable to go and take a full shower or bath or go into the pool or go into the ocean, all things which I love!, and about two weeks ago I was finally released from the port in my chest which was the last remaining stumbling block keeping me out of the water! With that being healed I was able to take my first completely enjoyable shower which I talked about before. Today I took the plunge into the deep end of the pool and fully submerged my body into the ice cold water!! Luckily I had my friends wetsuit from years ago (thanks Lisa! ) and without it I think I would have come up a popsicle! But it was as emotional an experience as funny because as soon as I stopped filming and started running up to the hot bath I had prepared for myself, I started crying and yelling, ” you did it! you did it! you did it! you did it!” And as I laid in the bath thinking about all of the pain both physical and of course emotional pain and fear that I have had to overcome to get to this point I couldn’t stop crying with an amazing sense of joy and accomplishment and Hope that if I can do this that I really can do what i want to! I have not been having the best week which is why I did not post a video or anything yesterday or last week which, I understand no one other than myself probably is...

A Silver Lining Jacket

Last Monday I found out that I was going to have to have the port in my chest once again taken out and that I was going to be going in on Tuesday morning to have the emergency surgery to remove the port. Only six months ago I had my last port taken out because of a hole and another Port put in, so to have yet again a hole through my skin to the port and having to have it taken out again was very frustrating and depressing and the fact that it happened after already being in the hospital for a week and a half having a tumor taken out was just not what I was excited about doing! But it needed to be done and I decided with my doctor to only remove the sport and so up my chest and not to put another port in this time because I was done with the Dilaudid pump and I didn’t have any infusions planned and even if I start infusions again they can do it with a one-time IV access in my arm so there was no need like there was before to have a port put in again. Plus I just couldn’t handle putting trust in the Home Nurses or doctors and other nurses and just other people in general with accessing the sport without putting the needle in wrong or the same place repeatedly because after what I went through the past few weeks I’m having a very hard time personally trusting doctors and nurses unfortunately. I know not all are troublesome but it’s...

The Vlog Struggle is REAL

I, like many people, have been struggling with getting my social media game together and organized. I wanted to take full advantage of posting videos of my health updates as well as get my story out from when I was diagnosed originally and all of the surgeries and Adventures I’ve gone through over the years. I also want to talk with other people about personal struggles and how we can help each other deal with them… And I thought trying to do this by posting on YouTube was going to be easy peasy! Quite the contrary! I have a degree in graphic design and I have made many animated cartoons and edited short films so I felt that I had enough knowledge to figure out YouTube videos. The more I tried the more I failed! I could not get the voice volume correct, I could not get the lighting correct, I could not get the quality better than those old 90s digital camera toys… So I kept giving up each time it would fail. In the last few months, however, I have been going through a big big big personal and life change where I am no longer giving up on dreams and goals! AND the first goal that I wanted to tackle was starting up again on this video blog since I knew that I could at least figure this out and start reaching out to other people with cancer, with depression, with addiction, feeling lonely, etc and the sooner I could tackle this hurdle of making YouTube videos the sooner I could start making these connections! So...

I’m Writing a Book! 

Can’t promise it will be aliterary masterpiece but it’ll definitely be as “Bryce” as possible. Whether that’s a good thing or not I’ll have to finish it and let you all male up your own mind about it!  #noexcuses